National bereaved parents day honoured with memorial services and a charitable donation

To mark the significance of a national day to support grieving parents, Southern Co-op is holding four separate memorial services as well as donating 100 support boxes for newly bereaved parents.

In conjunction with National Bereaved Parents Day, Southern Co-op will be hosting memorial services on Monday 3 July at 6.30pm to provide support for anyone who has suffered the loss of a child.

These services will be held at The Oaks Havant Crematorium, East Devon Crematorium, Hinton Park Woodland Burial Ground and Funeral Directors, and Mayfields Woodland Burial Ground. The services will be followed by light refreshments.

For those unable to attend in person, the memorial services will also be live-streamed to ensure that individuals across the region can participate and find comfort in the shared experience of remembrance and support.

Holly Bramble​, Southern Co-op’s Community Lead, said: “National Bereaved Parents Day was set up in 2020 by a small charity called A Child of Mine as the founders wanted to bring together anyone affected by the loss of a child to show them that they are not alone.

“It is the charity’s 10th anniversary this year so we wanted to mark this special occasion by supporting their work with an £8,000 donation which will pay for 100 Butterfly Boxes.

“The Butterfly Boxes are a small gesture, but we are certain they will have a positive impact on bereaved parents.”

The Butterfly Boxes offer practical support and solace to newly bereaved parents, and include items such as a teddy bear, calming candle, tissues, healing crystals, mindfulness book, journal and pen, bereavement book tailored to the family’s loss, a pink/blue heart, and a bereaved parent’s pin badge.

National Bereaved Parents Day will take place on Monday 3rd July to raise awareness for all parents who have lost a child of any age, and from any circumstance. This year’s theme is ‘you are not alone’.

Gayle Routledge, Founder and Chief Executive of A Child of Mine, said: “What can I say. We are absolutely delighted that Southern Co-op is supporting our Butterfly boxes. This donation will make a huge difference to our families in their time of need and will give them some practical resources to help them through their grief. We are so grateful to Southern Co-op for supporting A Child of Mine; as a tiny charity we rely totally on the generosity of the community and this donation really will make a huge impact. Thank you so much!”

As part of Bereaved Parents Day, the charity is encouraging people to light a candle at 7pm which Southern Co-op’s branches of The Co-operative Funeralcare will be joining in with by having candles (battery operated) shining in their windows throughout July.

For more information on the memorial services or book your place, contact the individual venue which can be found at https://southern.coop/store-locator. Or for more information contact Southern Co-op’s free Bereavement Care team on 08081 691922 or via https://bereavementcare.uk/.

More than 14,000 donations made in memory of loved ones

Just under £700,000 was donated to more than 450 charities in 2022 thanks to people donating in memory of their loved ones.

The donations were made via a free online memorials feature offered by more than 60 Southern Co-op funeral care homes.

In the top ten charities which received the largest overall donation last year, three of them were local including Rowans Hospice in Hampshire which had 961 donations totalling £50,853.

Claire McGinty, Client Experience and Aftercare Manager at Southern Co-op, said: “Each and every one of these donations is thanks to an individual who is grieving for a loved one. This is an incredibly generous thing to do and will clearly make a significant difference to all the causes who have benefitted.

“This is possibly even more touching at the moment when a lot of charities are struggling and need all the support they can get. Thank you to all those who donated.”

Over the last three years, a total of £2,082,095 was donated by families across the south of England via the free online tribute service offered by Southern Co-op.

Michelle Merrison, Florence Nightingale Hospice Charity’s In Memory Giving Manager, said: “We would like to thank everyone who has donated in memory of someone special in 2022. We are always deeply touched when people choose to remember us as they remember and celebrate the life and memories of a loved one and it is an honour to be able to continue to provide our vital services to more families in their names.

“The total received will have covered the equivalent of a month of Day Hospice sessions, providing specialist and individual support to help our patients maintain independence, improve their quality of life and manage their symptoms.”

The platform, supplied by MuchLoved, enables donations to any UK registered charity with no subscription fee which means many small charities can receive vital funding thanks to the generosity of your communities choosing to donate in memory of their loved ones.

Ruth Brady, Fundraising Manager for the Andrew Simpson Foundation, said: “The Andrew Simpson Foundation (ASF) was inspired by Olympic Gold and Silver medallist Andrew ‘Bart’ Simpson MBE. Our mission is to transform lives through sailing. Absolutely everything we do is driven by our belief that all young people can excel and succeed in life and work.

“Thank you to all the incredible people who chose to support our work through MuchLoved. The funds raised through MuchLoved enabled the ASF to support over 5,000 young people in 2022.”

Alice Garratt, In Memory & Legacy Fundraiser at Thames Hospice, said: “A dedicated online tribute page can offer great comfort for friends and families to remember and honour a loved one, and fundraising in their memory makes such a difference to support our work.

“We are incredibly grateful to all the families who chose to set up an online tribute page in aid of Thames Hospice last year and a special thanks to Southern Co-op who facilitated tributes which have raised £11,400. This could pay for 253 hours of counselling time, which is six 1 hour sessions for 42 people.”

James Young, Individual Giving Fundraiser at St. Michael’s Hospice, said: “We want to say thank you to everyone who donated in memory of a loved one and helped raise an incredible £16,764.34 for St. Michael’s Hospice.

“These funds will help us provide free compassionate care to our patients and their families across North Hampshire. Thank you so much, we simply can’t do what we do without the kindness and generosity of our supporters.“

Lara Battersby, Communications Officer for Dorset and Somerset Air Ambulance, said: “We would like to express our sincere thanks to those who have generously donated in memory of their loved ones to Dorset and Somerset Air Ambulance during 2022, raising a total of £604.58 in aid of our life-saving service.

“The charity receives no direct funding from the Government or the National Lottery and relies on the generosity of the public to help raise our operational costs of over £5 million per year, so we are incredibly grateful to receive this heartfelt support.”

Alison Taylor, Corporate Fundraising Manager at Chestnut Tree House and St Barnabas Hospices, said: “Thank you so much to all the staff and customers at Southern Co-op who have supported Chestnut Tree House and St Barnabas House throughout 2022. We wouldn’t be able to carry on providing the care we do without the support from our community.”

Free online support for National Bereaved Parents Month

Two online support groups are being held in July – National Bereaved Parents Month – to give extra help to those affected by the loss of a child.

Being held by Bereavement Care, in association with Southern Co-op and its local funeralcare branches, the support groups are for anyone who has experienced the loss of a child, regardless of age or circumstance.

National Bereaved Parents Day was set up in 2020 by the charity A Child of Mine as it wanted to bring together anyone affected by the loss of a child to show them that they are not alone.

As well as the support groups, Southern Co-op will be donating £1,000 to the charity to make sure bereaved parents and families get access to invaluable emotional and practical support.

Ali Davison, Bereavement Coordinator at Bereavement Care, said: “Our team works with people everyday to help them through some of the darkest days of their lives. So we know how incredibly important it is to have a safe, confidential environment, with others that may understand what they are going through, coupled with the support from our Bereavement Coordinators.

“We are mindful that the awareness month is likely to evoke a lot of emotions and we want to make sure we have resource in place to support these parents.”

The free Bereavement Care service is offered by Southern Co-op to everyone in its local communities – regardless of whether they have used its services. To find your nearest Southern Co-op funeral branch, visit www.funeralcare.co.uk/our-funeral-directors/location-map/.

The free service is designed to help and support people struggling to deal with bereavement.

The two online support groups will take place on Wednesday 13 July from 3pm to 4pm and Wednesday 20 July from 10am to 11am.

Links can be found via Bereavement Care’s Facebook page or by emailing info@bereavementcare.uk.

For more information on Bereavement Care and the help available, visit https://bereavementcare.uk/ or call 08081 691922.

Memories to be placed on trees of remembrance this Christmas

Residents are being asked to decorate a Christmas tree with memories this year with the iconic firs being placed in more than 60 locations across the south of England.

Southern Co-op is sending special greetings cards to families they have looked after who have lost a loved one this year. The cards include a pop-out star to let their memories shine bright this Christmas.

They are then being invited to place their stars on the memory trees being put up in Southern Co-op branches of The Co-operative Funeralcare throughout December.

These are based in Alton, Andover, Ash Vale, Aylesbury, Basingstoke, Bishops Waltham, Bognor Regis, Bracknell, Brighton, Camberley, Chichester, Cosham, East Cowes, Emsworth, Fareham, Farnborough, Felpham, Fleet, Freshwater, Frome, Gillingham, Gosport, Havant, Hayling Island, Hazlemere, High Wycombe, Hove, Liss, Newport, Peacehaven, Portsmouth, Ryde, Sandown, Shaftesbury, Shanklin, Shoreham by Sea, Sturminster Newton, Uckfield, Warminster, Waterlooville, Wendover, Whitchurch, and Worthing.

Trees will also be located at The Oaks Crematorium in Havant and East Devon Crematorium in Whimple.

The trees are open to everyone in order to give them the opportunity to write a personal message to someone who is no longer with them this Christmas.

Lesley Hadley, Bereavement Coordinator from Southern Co-op’s free Bereavement Care service, said: “This is a meaningful way to acknowledge the absence of our loved ones, and make a start on creating new rituals and traditions that will include them.

“If you are finding this time of year hard, remember to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to spend time in quiet contemplation if you would prefer that to being ‘jollied along’ by well-meaning friends and family.

“Give yourself the opportunity to do what makes you feel most comfortable, rather than what others think you should be doing.”

Information on free bereavement support is available on www.bereavementcare.uk.

UK’s first fully electric Tesla based hearse lands in the south of England

Funerals are about to get greener in the south of England as the UK’s first fully electric Tesla based hearse is delivered to a regional, co-operative funeral services provider.

Southern Co-op, which operates just under 60 funeral branches across Berkshire, Dorset, Hampshire, the Isle of Wight, Somerset, Surrey, Sussex and Wiltshire, has taken delivery of the new, ground-breaking Wisper based on the Tesla Model S.

The hearse will be available at all of The Co-operative Funeralcare branches run by Southern Co-op and will enable families to say goodbye to their loved ones in a more environmentally responsible way.

With state-of-the-art technology and equipment, the entirely silent hearse is zero-emission with full electric operation, measuring around 5.8m in length and has a 220-mile single-charge range capability powered at Southern Co-op sites using electricity from renewable sources.

Steve Pearce, Southern Co-op’s Chief Operating Officer for End of Life Services, said: “This day has been a long time coming with delays caused by the pandemic and waiting for it to be approved for use on the UK’s roads. So this is definitely a time to celebrate and we won’t waste any time in getting it on the road.

“There is only one other existing electric hearse in the UK which is much more compact so we hope this will offer people an elegant alternative which echoes a more traditional appearance. It will also compliment an existing range of other eco-friendly products we offer as we all work together to tackle climate change and make a difference to our environment.”

As well as the hearse, delivered through funeral vehicle provider Coleman Milne, Southern Co-op is also the first funeral business in the UK to take delivery of two new hybrid Mercedes E-Class Limousines and two new converted E class Mercedes hybrid hearses.

These six-door models offer style and comfort with high tech accessories and an electric vehicle powertrain with the ability to run the vehicles in full electric mode for an entirely silent funeral procession.

Mark Smith, Chief Executive at Southern Co-op, said: “It’s important that we all work together to tackle climate change, so we are delighted to now be able to offer our customers the choice of a more environmentally favourable funeral fleet and to take the next step on our sustainability journey together.

“The appetite for change is there within our communities so, by making it easier for loved ones to make more informed choices, people can play their part in making a positive difference to our environment and our communities.”

Southern Co-op is currently working towards its ambitious science based targets to cut direct and indirect greenhouse gas emissions from its business by 2030, supported by a climate action pathway of planned activity and an initial investment of £5.8m.

To view Southern Co-op’s long term strategy including its commitment to climate change and responsible business, visit www.thesouthernco-operative.co.uk/our-plan/.

South coast bereavement centre supports thousands of people in 20 years

A free bereavement care service is celebrating its 20th anniversary after touching the lives of more than 59,200 people.

The Bereavement Centre, part of the regional co-operative Southern Co-op, was the brainchild of one of its colleagues who worked in its Co-operative Funeralcare services.

After 24 years at Southern Co-op and The Co-operative Funeralcare, Ingrid McAllister-Derry knew there was a need to offer an aftercare service and emotional support for colleagues.

Her boss Steve Pearce, now the Chief Operating Officer for End of Life Services at Southern Co-op, agreed and The Bereavement Centre was launched on May 15 2000.

Ingrid, who is now The Bereavement Manager Care Liaison Officer, said: “It was quite pioneering. I had to learn things as we went along and became a professionally-qualified counsellor.

Ingrid McAllister-Derry in 1994

“We grew the service over the years to offer one-to-one bereavement support for anyone in the community – not just for people who had used our funeral services at The Co-operative Funeralcare. After 11 years, we recruited a bereavement co-ordinator and now have a team of five.”

The Bereavement Centre now provides free support for people suffering with grief and loss face-to-face or via online services such as Skype across Hampshire, the Isle of Wight, Sussex and select areas of Berkshire, Dorset, Surrey and Wiltshire.

This has also helped to take some pressure off other local mental health services that have long waiting times.

Ingrid McAllister-Derry and Ang Higgins

The team also works with key workers including carers, doctors, nurses and teachers through training sessions to coach them on the practicalities of dealing with a death and loss of any kind. This includes helping medical professionals understand how to help grieving families and give the best bedside manner and support to those suffering.

Steve Pearce said: “Over the past 20 years, Ingrid and her team have supported 24,960 people at their educational sessions and have given wellbeing support to 26,859 people. The help they have provided for people has been invaluable.

“During the current pandemic, the help they have given families and to colleagues has been second-to-none. What was once just an idea, has grown into something that hundreds of people rely on. Thank you Ingrid for everything you and your team have achieved.”

In 2004, Ingrid started a friendship group in Portsmouth, which is still running now with around 35 members.

The team now runs nine Wellbeing support groups in Andover, Bognor Regis, Clayton (near Hassocks), Fareham, Farnborough, Frome, Peacehaven, Portsmouth and Sandown.

It also holds additional workshops covering subjects such as anxiety and loss, resilience, multicultural, mental health and mindfulness. For businesses that need something more bespoke, they can create a workshop to suit these needs as well.

During the coronavirus pandemic, the team has been supporting nursing homes and care in the community as well as giving people virtual help during lockdown with telephone support to the bereaved and care professionals.

Ingrid said: “Part of Southern Co-op’s values is about giving back to the communities in which we serve. How better can this be demonstrated than by providing a free bereavement service for 20 years?

“We believe passionately about giving something back and have quietly done this for all these years. It’s been a real privilege.”

To find out more or to get support, call 08081691922, email info@thebereavementcentre.co.uk or visit www.bereavementcentre.co.uk/.

The Oaks Havant Crematorium Hosts a Moving Christmas Memorial Service

In a beautiful and moving Christmas Memorial Service, hosted by The Oaks Havant Crematorium on Saturday 10th December, families and friends gathered to pay tribute to their loved ones.

southernco-optheoaksmem26-1smAround 400 people attended the service at The Oaks, run by The Southern Co-operative, which included hymns, poems, readings, music performed by the Spirit in the South choir, and a stunning rendition of ‘Angels’ sung by Ellie Lomas.

The service was officiated by Reverend Luke O’Maoil Mheana of St Michael and All Angels Church in Portsmouth, Reverend Carol Gully and The Very Reverend Paul Miles-Knight, who also provided time for personal reflection and a minute’s silence. After the service, guests were invited to write a personal message on a star and place it on the Christmas Memorial Tree.

Reverend Luke O’Maoil Mheana said: “This time of year can be particularly difficult for families grieving the loss of a loved one, and this gathering was a lovely opportunity for those to come together with a common language. It was a welcome respite for everyone to escape the frenzy in the run up to Christmas, and take time to reflect and remember those that have passed, in the company of others that understand the poignancy that this time of year can bring.”

After the service, guests were provided with hot drinks and mince pies, and donations were made to the Rowans Hospice.  A total of £421 was raised and given to the Rowans Meerkat Service which provides specialist support to assist children and young people who have a significant adult (such as a parent or grandparent) with a life-limiting illness or who have been bereaved of an adult close to them.

Set in 8.5 acres, The Oaks Crematorium is surrounded by beautiful ancient semi-natural woodland and wildflower meadow, providing a picturesque setting for the Crematorium building which has been sensitively designed. As well as creating a space that is relevant for all cultures, ages and beliefs, it provides a tranquil sanctuary for the bereaved, inspired by its natural setting.

New crematorium combines state of the art facilities with traditional service

Prior to the opening of The Southern Co-operative’s new crematorium, The Oaks in Havant (12 December), over 150 funeral directors, clergy and celebrants were given an insight into the state-of-the-art building to familiarise themselves with the new facility.

Previously, the nearest crematorium for residents of south east Hampshire has been at either Porchester or Chichester. The Oaks can accommodate up to 200 people for a funeral, with seating for 86 in the service hall, which has views through 6 metre high windows, from floor to ceiling, over a private planted courtyard and onto the ancient woodland beyond. Built to the highest environmental standards, the facility employs the latest techniques in cremation and clean technology to prevent pollution to the air and surrounding environment. Low level energy efficient lighting also minimises light pollution from the site.

From its conception, The Southern Co-operative has been working with Hampshire and Isle of Wight Wildlife Trust to protect and enhance the environment and wildlife in the grounds. Roddy McGinley, The Southern Co-operative’s Crematorium and Cemeteries Manager, explained: “The Oaks has been designed sensitively to complement the surrounding wildflower meadow and ancient woodland in which it sits, which in turn creates a tranquil environment for the bereaved who are visiting.”

Roddy added: “We accommodate traditional religious or secular funeral services here for any culture and ethnicity as well as any other alternative forms of farewell, making it a celebration of a life well lived, rather than the death that has just occurred.” Funeral services are planned to last up to 45 minutes, which is 15 minutes longer than the local area has been used to. Service times are available Monday to Friday and Saturday mornings, and include Bank Holidays except for Christmas and New Year’s Day.

Bereaved families can choose music from an almost infinite music library via the Wesley media service or a digital organ or piano for more traditional services. Visual life tributes of video, photos and music can also be played on multimedia screens. Family and friends in the UK or anywhere abroad who can’t make the funeral can still view the service via a securely transmitted web cast. All of these audio visual services can also be recorded.

Celebrant Malcolm Chewter said: “My first impressions are that it is an absolutely lovely venue for a funeral; it feels welcoming and warm. The space is welcome for all cultures, the symbolism here is the oak tree and I like that idea.”

Reverend Nigel Bennett from St Judes Church in Southsea added: “The Oaks has been very well thought out, it is a lovely environment. Once it becomes better known, people might prefer to come here as it is so pleasant. The oversize cremator will, I’m sure, be useful.”  The Oaks can accommodate cremations of much larger people, which is increasingly required, and up until now have had to be held out of the area.

Petersfield Funeral Director, Michael Miller, said: “The chapel was very well presented and I’m impressed that so many mourners can be accommodated. The photo screen is a good idea and I like the way the organ and staff area is open and not hidden from mourners. The flower area is a good size for mourners to view floral tributes. The staff were very helpful and friendly. In general I thought the crematorium is very well laid out.”

Bill Stillwell, Methodist minister for Copnor, Havant and Bedhampton, who attended The Oaks open evening with Pam Stone, a pastoral worker for the Methodist Church, said: “We like the fact that the service hall is light and airy, and that visitors can look out and see Mother Nature, also that they can walk through the woodland glade and think their own thoughts; it is very peaceful. The memorial logs and orbs along the path are a super idea; it gives people somewhere to focus on.” Within the wood in the grounds is a natural pond that provides sanctuary for the locally very rare heathland species, Floating Clubrush (Eleogiton fluitans).

Roddy added: “We understand not everyone has attended a funeral, therefore to some a crematorium may feel a strange or an uncomfortable place. If you would like to visit and have a look around, or ask any questions of the team, then you are more than welcome. I am always pleased to personally answer any questions you may have so please feel free to call me on 023 9222 2648.” You can also find out more at www.havantcrematorium.co.uk

EDITED - The Oaks Crematorium opening evening
The Oaks Crematorium opening evening
EDITED - The Oaks crematorium team
The Oaks crematorium team

 

The Oaks entrance showing oak cladded walls and local flint
The Oaks entrance showing oak cladded walls and local flint

Volunteers clear the way for conservation

Led by Hampshire and Isle of Wight Wildlife Trust, a team of twelve volunteers from The Southern Co-operative’s End of Life Services set about clearing the area surrounding a natural pond in the grounds of The Oaks, Havant Crematorium this autumn.

Surrounding and within the extensive grounds of the crematorium in south east Hampshire is ancient semi-natural woodland, designated as a Site of Importance for Nature Conservation (SINC).  The shaded naturally draining pond in the grounds provides sanctuary for the locally very rare heathland species, Floating Clubrush (Eleogiton fluitans).  This is only the fourth known location for this species in south east Hampshire. The Clubrush forms roots on the pond bed when the pond is dry and when the pond naturally fills with rainwater,  its roots detach and it ‘floats’ on the top of the water, re-attaching its roots when the pond naturally dries out again.

The Southern Co-operative’s Head of Sustainability, Gemma Lacey, who organised the volunteering, has been working with corporate partner HIWWT over the past six months to maximise the benefit to wildlife around the new crematorium site, which in turn will create a tranquil setting for visitors.

Gemma said; “The team worked very hard and achieved a huge amount in one day. clearing rubble and fallen branches around the pond, creating wood pile habitats to encourage wildlife,  planting the bank with woodland flower bulbs and marginal plants including flag iris around the pond. We also built a wheelchair accessible wooden bridge to improve access to the area, and plan to return in the spring to put up bird and bat boxes.”

The Trust’s Assistant Ecologist, Ruth Kernohan, who led the volunteering group, said: “It was a rewarding day with the hard working Southern Co-operative team.  As Floating Clubrush can be overtaken by more vigorous growing species, we managed to open up access to the site whilst crucially maintaining its habitat.  People visiting the Crematorium will now also be able to enjoy this peaceful area.”

The Oaks crematorium itself has been built to the highest environmental standards, employing the latest techniques in cremation and clean technology to prevent pollution to the air and surrounding environment. The building also uses level energy efficient lighting to minimise light pollution and a green sedum living roof provides additional habitat for wildlife.

Volunteering days are popular with The Southern Co-operative’s colleagues, who are encouraged to volunteer for good causes in work time as part of their community spirited and co-operative ethos. In the past year, teams from its food retail stores and funeral homes have helped HIWWT with hazel coppicing at Pamber Forest near Basingstoke and scrub clearance at Arreton Down on the Isle of Wight, and joined corporate partners Dorset Wildlife Trust to build nesting grounds for terns in the lagoon surrounding Brownsea Island and Sussex Wildlife Trust to clear scrub at Levin Down.

volunteering at crematorium natural pond
volunteering at crematorium natural pond
The Southern Co-operative volunteering with HIWWT at Havant Crematorium grounds
The Southern Co-operative volunteering with HIWWT at Havant Crematorium grounds