Celebrants, colleagues, clients and friends gathered in Fareham last week for an open day at The Co-operative Funeralcare branch in Trinity Street.
The branch was filled with festive scents with mulled wine and homemade festive treats including gingerbread biscuits, sausage and cranberry sausage rolls and an abundance of mince pies.
A raffle was held for The Rainbow Centre which supports children and adults affected by neurological conditions. The total amount raised from the raffle was £172.
Rev Sean Blackman also attended and blessed the branch’s tree, which is adorned with twinkling stars.
Residents are being asked to decorate a Christmas tree with memories this year with the iconic firs being placed in more than 60 locations across the south of England.
Southern Co-op is sending special greetings cards to families they have looked after who have lost a loved one this year. The cards include a pop-out star to let their memories shine bright this Christmas.
They are then being invited to place their stars on the memory trees being put up in Southern Co-op branches of The Co-operative Funeralcare throughout December.
These are based in Alton, Andover, Ash Vale, Aylesbury, Basingstoke, Bishops Waltham, Bognor Regis, Bracknell, Brighton, Camberley, Chichester, Cosham, East Cowes, Emsworth, Fareham, Farnborough, Felpham, Fleet, Freshwater, Frome, Gillingham, Gosport, Havant, Hayling Island, Hazlemere, High Wycombe, Hove, Liss, Newport, Peacehaven, Portsmouth, Ryde, Sandown, Shaftesbury, Shanklin, Shoreham by Sea, Sturminster Newton, Uckfield, Warminster, Waterlooville, Wendover, Whitchurch, and Worthing.
Trees will also be located at The Oaks Crematorium in Havant and East Devon Crematorium in Whimple.
The trees are open to everyone in order to give them the opportunity to write a personal message to someone who is no longer with them this Christmas.
Lesley Hadley, Bereavement Coordinator from Southern Co-op’s free Bereavement Care service, said: “This is a meaningful way to acknowledge the absence of our loved ones, and make a start on creating new rituals and traditions that will include them.
“If you are finding this time of year hard, remember to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to spend time in quiet contemplation if you would prefer that to being ‘jollied along’ by well-meaning friends and family.
“Give yourself the opportunity to do what makes you feel most comfortable, rather than what others think you should be doing.”
Funeral colleagues in and around Portsmouth have walked, run and jumped nearly 1,000 miles in a bid to beat the lockdown blues.
The area’s manager at Southern Co-op set the challenge for her colleagues to take them outside of their comfort zone. But even she was surprised at how far they could push themselves.
Nine colleagues, based at local branches of The Co-operative Funeralcare, took part and the winner was Sally Cornwell who walked 123 miles in June compared to just four miles in March.
To celebrate their success, a donation of £200 will be made to Portsmouth in the Community – Sally’s charity of choice and two £50 donations will go to two other local charities for the runners up.
Julie Feist with Jeanette Battersby-Wilcox
Sally, who works at branch in Fratton, said: “Not only do I feel better in myself, I also got to spend a lot of time with hubby and boys as they joined me on most walking occasions which was wonderful. I shall continue to do what I have done in June as its much better than going to the gym.”
Even the area’s Sector Operations Manager, Sue Mawson, got involved and exhausted herself by running 180 miles.
James Smith, who works in Rowner, went from walking 10 miles in May to 90 miles in June.
James said: “We have made friends with some dog walkers (and a particularly energetic little terrier), been attacked by spiky bushes, and learned the days that the local mental health facility does its own walks around and about.
“It has definitely helped keep me and [my partner] Dan sane during June to be getting out and about and we expect it to continue, at least while the weather is nice.”
Sue Mawson Sector Operations Manager
Other colleagues who took part were Julie Feist, based in Southsea – who walked 36 miles with her dogs to every single local branch, Pam Beeby, based in Fareham – who completed 131 miles doing 47 different activities and reducing her alcohol intake to zero, Sharon Whitford, based in North End – who walked 150,000 steps, Stacey Wilson, based in Fareham – who dropped a dress size, Jo Pitman, based in Southsea – who walked 100 miles, and Kyela Trivet, based in Gosport – who walked a total of 361,725 steps.
Claire McGinty, Regional Operations Manager at Southern Co-op, said: “All of the participants are winners in my eyes. We all agreed that everyone did amazingly, not only by participating in the challenge, but for doing something out of their comfort zone.
“It was so lovely to read what each colleague did as part of the challenge and to read that friends were made with local dog walkers, families spent more time together and that the local wild life was explored! We are still in uncertain times so to see that this challenge has helped colleagues feel better is just incredible.”
A free bereavement care service is celebrating its 20th anniversary after touching the lives of more than 59,200 people.
The Bereavement Centre, part of the regional co-operative Southern Co-op, was the brainchild of one of its colleagues who worked in its Co-operative Funeralcare services.
After 24 years at Southern Co-op and The Co-operative Funeralcare, Ingrid McAllister-Derry knew there was a need to offer an aftercare service and emotional support for colleagues.
Her boss Steve Pearce, now the Chief Operating Officer for End of Life Services at Southern Co-op, agreed and The Bereavement Centre was launched on May 15 2000.
Ingrid, who is now The Bereavement Manager Care Liaison Officer, said: “It was quite pioneering. I had to learn things as we went along and became a professionally-qualified counsellor.
Ingrid McAllister-Derry in 1994
“We grew the service over the years to offer one-to-one bereavement support for anyone in the community – not just for people who had used our funeral services at The Co-operative Funeralcare. After 11 years, we recruited a bereavement co-ordinator and now have a team of five.”
The Bereavement Centre now provides free support for people suffering with grief and loss face-to-face or via online services such as Skype across Hampshire, the Isle of Wight, Sussex and select areas of Berkshire, Dorset, Surrey and Wiltshire.
This has also helped to take some pressure off other local mental health services that have long waiting times.
Ingrid McAllister-Derry and Ang Higgins
The team also works with key workers including carers, doctors, nurses and teachers through training sessions to coach them on the practicalities of dealing with a death and loss of any kind. This includes helping medical professionals understand how to help grieving families and give the best bedside manner and support to those suffering.
Steve Pearce said: “Over the past 20 years, Ingrid and her team have supported 24,960 people at their educational sessions and have given wellbeing support to 26,859 people. The help they have provided for people has been invaluable.
“During the current pandemic, the help they have given families and to colleagues has been second-to-none. What was once just an idea, has grown into something that hundreds of people rely on. Thank you Ingrid for everything you and your team have achieved.”
In 2004, Ingrid started a friendship group in Portsmouth, which is still running now with around 35 members.
The team now runs nine Wellbeing support groups in Andover, Bognor Regis, Clayton (near Hassocks), Fareham, Farnborough, Frome, Peacehaven, Portsmouth and Sandown.
It also holds additional workshops covering subjects such as anxiety and loss, resilience, multicultural, mental health and mindfulness. For businesses that need something more bespoke, they can create a workshop to suit these needs as well.
During the coronavirus pandemic, the team has been supporting nursing homes and care in the community as well as giving people virtual help during lockdown with telephone support to the bereaved and care professionals.
Ingrid said: “Part of Southern Co-op’s values is about giving back to the communities in which we serve. How better can this be demonstrated than by providing a free bereavement service for 20 years?
“We believe passionately about giving something back and have quietly done this for all these years. It’s been a real privilege.”
Individuals who have lost a loved one will soon be able to get extra support as a new bereavement group is being launched in Portsmouth.
The free monthly Bereavement Wellbeing Group will offer individuals the opportunity to meet others in a similar situation, in an informal and friendly setting.
Being organised by Southern Co-op’s Bereavement Centre the new group will be launched on 21 February and will run on the third Thursday of every month in the Portsea area.
The Bereavement Centre, which offers free support to everyone in the community, already offers a range of services in the city including structured support groups, groups for people who are newly bereaved, friendship groups, walk and talk groups and one to one counselling.
It also offers support over Skype, Face Time, telephone or email.
Ingrid McAllister-Derry, Bereavement Centre Manager and Counsellor, said: “The new group has been created to be inclusive and available to everyone – regardless of whether you are a customer of Southern Co-op.
“Bereavement can be a very lonely journey, even if you have people all around you. The group is deliberately informal. It brings people together who are in a similar situation and who understand what you may also be going through.
“It is intended to be relaxed and comfortable but with the opportunity to talk to a counsellor over coffee and cake or arrange a separate counselling appointment if this would help.”
Current bereavement supports groups are held in Frome, Warmister, Fareham, Farnborough, Bognor Regis, Lake, Telscombe and Hassocks.
There will also be new groups starting soon in Waterlooville and Basingstoke.
People who would like to attend the group need to initially contact The Bereavement Centre via 08081 691922 or by emailing info@thebereavementcentre.co.uk.
Regular coffee, care and cake group are continuing to offer free support to all individuals who have lost a loved one.
The monthly groups are organised by Southern Co-op’s Bereavement Centre and offer individuals the opportunity to meet others in a similar situation, in an informal and friendly setting.
Current coffee, care and cake group are held in Frome, Warmister, Fareham, Farnborough, Bognor Regis, Lake, Telscombe and Hassocks.
There will also be new groups starting soon in Portsmouth, Waterlooville, Havant and Basingstoke.
Ingrid McAllister-Derry, Bereavement Centre Manager and Counsellor, said: “We created the support groups to be inclusive and available to everyone – regardless of whether you are a customer of Southern Co-op.
“Bereavement can be a very lonely journey, even if you have people all around you. The group is deliberately informal. It brings people together who are in a similar situation and who understand what you may also be going through.
“It is intended to be relaxed and comfortable but with the opportunity to talk to a counsellor over coffee and cake or arrange a separate counselling appointment if this would help.”
The coffee, care and cake groups are open to everyone in the community and are free to attend.
Upcoming Coffee, Care and Cake groups are:
• Frome: Second Monday of each month from 10am-12pm at Frome Medical Practice, in Enos Way, BA11 2FH
• Warmister: Second Monday of each month from 1.30pm -3pm at Warmister Civic Centre, in Sambourne Road, BA12 8LB
• Fareham: First Wednesday of each month from 1pm -3pm at Community Action, 163 West Street, PO16 0EF
• Telscombe: Second Wednesday of each month from 10am-12pm at Telscombe Civic Centre, 360 South Coast Road, BN10 7ES
• Farnborough: First Thursday of each month from 10:30am-12pm at Southern Co-op Funeralcare, 68 Victoria Road, GU14 7PH
• Isle of Wight: Second Thursday of each month from 10:30am -12pm at Southern Co-op Funeralcare, No.1 Fairway, Lake, PO36 9EE
• Hassocks: Last Thursday of each month from 10am-12pm at Clayton Wood Natural Burial Ground, in Brighton Road, BN6 9PD
• Bognor Regis: Fourth Friday of each month from 10am-11:30am at Laburnham Centre, in Lyon Street, PO21 1UX
To find out more, click here or call 07834 449069.
The trees are open to everyone in order to give them the opportunity to write a personal message to someone who is no longer with them this Christmas.
