Memories to be placed on trees of remembrance this Christmas

Residents are being asked to decorate a Christmas tree with memories this year with the iconic firs being placed in more than 60 locations across the south of England.

Southern Co-op is sending special greetings cards to families they have looked after who have lost a loved one this year. The cards include a pop-out star to let their memories shine bright this Christmas.

They are then being invited to place their stars on the memory trees being put up in Southern Co-op branches of The Co-operative Funeralcare throughout December.

These are based in Alton, Andover, Ash Vale, Aylesbury, Basingstoke, Bishops Waltham, Bognor Regis, Bracknell, Brighton, Camberley, Chichester, Cosham, East Cowes, Emsworth, Fareham, Farnborough, Felpham, Fleet, Freshwater, Frome, Gillingham, Gosport, Havant, Hayling Island, Hazlemere, High Wycombe, Hove, Liss, Newport, Peacehaven, Portsmouth, Ryde, Sandown, Shaftesbury, Shanklin, Shoreham by Sea, Sturminster Newton, Uckfield, Warminster, Waterlooville, Wendover, Whitchurch, and Worthing.

Trees will also be located at The Oaks Crematorium in Havant and East Devon Crematorium in Whimple.

The trees are open to everyone in order to give them the opportunity to write a personal message to someone who is no longer with them this Christmas.

Lesley Hadley, Bereavement Coordinator from Southern Co-op’s free Bereavement Care service, said: “This is a meaningful way to acknowledge the absence of our loved ones, and make a start on creating new rituals and traditions that will include them.

“If you are finding this time of year hard, remember to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to spend time in quiet contemplation if you would prefer that to being ‘jollied along’ by well-meaning friends and family.

“Give yourself the opportunity to do what makes you feel most comfortable, rather than what others think you should be doing.”

Information on free bereavement support is available on www.bereavementcare.uk.

Funeral co-ordinator named as colleague of the year

Tom Parfitt at Colliers Court

A funeralcare co-ordinator, who has brought colour to the lives of residents in Frome and Southwick, has been awarded for his ‘massive impact on his local community’.

Selected out of nearly 300 colleagues working in funeralcare at Southern Co-op – the regional, independent co-operative, Tom Parfitt has been named as Funeralcare Colleague of the Year.

Working at The Co-operative Funeralcare in Frome Tom Parfitt was selected for his hard work and dedication to the community after volunteering his time transforming lifeless items with colourful murals.

Last year, Tom adorned a bus at Hope Nature Centre in Southwick with animals of all shapes and sizes which is being used at the centre as part of its work to train people with learning disabilities in animal care and catering skills.

Hope Nature Centre

He also helped a Frome day care service with his creative flair at Colliers Court where services are run by Discovery for adults with learning disabilities and autism. The focus of the upcycle project was to make the garden area a brighter and more pleasant area for the facility users to engage in garden activities.

Tom, who has worked at Southern Co-op for four years after leaving the armed forces, said: “In a nutshell I was gobsmacked when I heard. My manager had just completed my COVID-19 secure audit and then she went super serious saying she had something to tell me. Honestly I was worried.

“When she explained why I had been put forward I was humbled. I love the job that we do and all the team that surround and support me. Plus it’s an added bonus to be able to donate my hobby in the way of art to as many people as I can. I just wanted to say thank you for the award it was a shock and it will be cherished.”

Jennifer Walter, Sector Operations Manager for the region, said: “Tom has been invaluable to the team and me with his unwavering positive attitude, complete flexibility and dedication to the families he is supporting in branch.

“On top of all that he has done with the branch and the funeral team, Tom has made a massive impact on his local community. It has also escalated to Tom supporting other branches with artwork community projects and requests coming in thick and fast locally for his help.

“I cannot speak highly enough about the efforts, enthusiasm and dedication Tom has shown over the last 12 months. He is an invaluable member of my team.”

The praise didn’t end there as Tom’s Sector Operation Support, Helen Jephcott, said: “I’m so pleased for him, he really does deserve it! He is loved by all the families he works with as he is so passionate and knowledgeable about his role and making his families feel 100% at ease.”

Tom’s work in the community is part of the organisation’s larger community engagement programme ‘Love Your Neighbourhood’ which addresses four key social themes – promoting greener, healthier, safer, and more inclusive neighbourhoods.

To find out more about Southern Co-op’s community programme or to view the latest vacancies, visit www.southernco-op.co.uk.

South coast bereavement centre supports thousands of people in 20 years

A free bereavement care service is celebrating its 20th anniversary after touching the lives of more than 59,200 people.

The Bereavement Centre, part of the regional co-operative Southern Co-op, was the brainchild of one of its colleagues who worked in its Co-operative Funeralcare services.

After 24 years at Southern Co-op and The Co-operative Funeralcare, Ingrid McAllister-Derry knew there was a need to offer an aftercare service and emotional support for colleagues.

Her boss Steve Pearce, now the Chief Operating Officer for End of Life Services at Southern Co-op, agreed and The Bereavement Centre was launched on May 15 2000.

Ingrid, who is now The Bereavement Manager Care Liaison Officer, said: “It was quite pioneering. I had to learn things as we went along and became a professionally-qualified counsellor.

Ingrid McAllister-Derry in 1994

“We grew the service over the years to offer one-to-one bereavement support for anyone in the community – not just for people who had used our funeral services at The Co-operative Funeralcare. After 11 years, we recruited a bereavement co-ordinator and now have a team of five.”

The Bereavement Centre now provides free support for people suffering with grief and loss face-to-face or via online services such as Skype across Hampshire, the Isle of Wight, Sussex and select areas of Berkshire, Dorset, Surrey and Wiltshire.

This has also helped to take some pressure off other local mental health services that have long waiting times.

Ingrid McAllister-Derry and Ang Higgins

The team also works with key workers including carers, doctors, nurses and teachers through training sessions to coach them on the practicalities of dealing with a death and loss of any kind. This includes helping medical professionals understand how to help grieving families and give the best bedside manner and support to those suffering.

Steve Pearce said: “Over the past 20 years, Ingrid and her team have supported 24,960 people at their educational sessions and have given wellbeing support to 26,859 people. The help they have provided for people has been invaluable.

“During the current pandemic, the help they have given families and to colleagues has been second-to-none. What was once just an idea, has grown into something that hundreds of people rely on. Thank you Ingrid for everything you and your team have achieved.”

In 2004, Ingrid started a friendship group in Portsmouth, which is still running now with around 35 members.

The team now runs nine Wellbeing support groups in Andover, Bognor Regis, Clayton (near Hassocks), Fareham, Farnborough, Frome, Peacehaven, Portsmouth and Sandown.

It also holds additional workshops covering subjects such as anxiety and loss, resilience, multicultural, mental health and mindfulness. For businesses that need something more bespoke, they can create a workshop to suit these needs as well.

During the coronavirus pandemic, the team has been supporting nursing homes and care in the community as well as giving people virtual help during lockdown with telephone support to the bereaved and care professionals.

Ingrid said: “Part of Southern Co-op’s values is about giving back to the communities in which we serve. How better can this be demonstrated than by providing a free bereavement service for 20 years?

“We believe passionately about giving something back and have quietly done this for all these years. It’s been a real privilege.”

To find out more or to get support, call 08081691922, email info@thebereavementcentre.co.uk or visit www.bereavementcentre.co.uk/.

Bus of ‘Hope’ gets a new look

A lick of paint has transformed a community bus in Southwick thanks to a talented funeral co-ordinator.

Answering an animal call for help, Thomas Parfitt from The Co-operative Funeralcare in Frome spent five days transforming the bus at Hope Nature Centre in Southwick.

The bus, which had been generously donated by the More Bus Group, is now adorned with animals of all shapes and sizes and will be used at the centre as part of its work to train people with learning disabilities in animal care and catering skills.

The bus will be converted into a venue for school groups and birthday parties and an events space for the nature centre and its customers.

Thomas said: “One of my colleagues knew about my passion and forwarded me the appeal for an artist. The funeral home where I work is part of a regional co-operative, Southern Co-op, which has a whole programme dedicated to supporting local communities so it wasn’t hard to persuade my colleagues to donate £300 for the materials and paint.

“As soon as I got the green light, on my days off, I started painting. I used all the animals that are in the farm as references and popped a cartoon twist on them. It’s all painted using spray paints – no brushes or pens.

“The bus is now stood as the Hope Hub – an area that is going to be used as an information and learning tool. It is really great to make such a difference to the centre and those who use it.”

The added space is expected to have a huge impact on the local schools and communities, and a programme of events and activities planned for 2019.

Director of HR at Hope Nature Centre, Clair Beaty-Pownall, said: “We were incredibly grateful for the donation of the bus to Hope Nature Centre and we are delighted that it has been completely transformed.

“After securing funding to have the interior stripped we then needed an exterior ‘make over’. The bus now looks amazing and we know that it will have a very positive impact, not only on the centre, but on the local community, who will be able to enjoy this exciting additional space for many years to come!”

Southern Co-op’s community engagement programme ‘Love Your Neighbourhood’ addresses four key social themes – promoting greener, healthier, safer, and more inclusive neighbourhoods.

To find out more about ‘Love Your Neighbourhood’, click here.

New bereavement wellbeing group in Portsmouth

Individuals who have lost a loved one will soon be able to get extra support as a new bereavement group is being launched in Portsmouth.

The free monthly Bereavement Wellbeing Group will offer individuals the opportunity to meet others in a similar situation, in an informal and friendly setting.

Being organised by Southern Co-op’s Bereavement Centre the new group will be launched on 21 February and will run on the third Thursday of every month in the Portsea area.

The Bereavement Centre, which offers free support to everyone in the community, already offers a range of services in the city including structured support groups, groups for people who are newly bereaved, friendship groups, walk and talk groups and one to one counselling.

It also offers support over Skype, Face Time, telephone or email.

Ingrid McAllister-Derry, Bereavement Centre Manager and Counsellor, said: “The new group has been created to be inclusive and available to everyone – regardless of whether you are a customer of Southern Co-op.

“Bereavement can be a very lonely journey, even if you have people all around you. The group is deliberately informal. It brings people together who are in a similar situation and who understand what you may also be going through.

“It is intended to be relaxed and comfortable but with the opportunity to talk to a counsellor over coffee and cake or arrange a separate counselling appointment if this would help.”

Current bereavement supports groups are held in Frome, Warmister, Fareham, Farnborough, Bognor Regis, Lake, Telscombe and Hassocks.

There will also be new groups starting soon in Waterlooville and Basingstoke.

People who would like to attend the group need to initially contact The Bereavement Centre via 08081 691922 or by emailing info@thebereavementcentre.co.uk.

Click here to find out more.

Free Local Bereavement Counselling

Regular coffee, care and cake group are continuing to offer free support to all individuals who have lost a loved one.

The monthly groups are organised by Southern Co-op’s Bereavement Centre and offer individuals the opportunity to meet others in a similar situation, in an informal and friendly setting.

Current coffee, care and cake group are held in Frome, Warmister, Fareham, Farnborough, Bognor Regis, Lake, Telscombe and Hassocks.

There will also be new groups starting soon in Portsmouth, Waterlooville, Havant and Basingstoke.

Ingrid McAllister-Derry, Bereavement Centre Manager and Counsellor, said: “We created the support groups to be inclusive and available to everyone – regardless of whether you are a customer of Southern Co-op.

“Bereavement can be a very lonely journey, even if you have people all around you. The group is deliberately informal. It brings people together who are in a similar situation and who understand what you may also be going through.

“It is intended to be relaxed and comfortable but with the opportunity to talk to a counsellor over coffee and cake or arrange a separate counselling appointment if this would help.”

The coffee, care and cake groups are open to everyone in the community and are free to attend.

Upcoming Coffee, Care and Cake groups are:

• Frome: Second Monday of each month from 10am-12pm at Frome Medical Practice, in Enos Way, BA11 2FH
• Warmister: Second Monday of each month from 1.30pm -3pm at Warmister Civic Centre, in Sambourne Road, BA12 8LB
• Fareham: First Wednesday of each month from 1pm -3pm at Community Action, 163 West Street, PO16 0EF
• Telscombe: Second Wednesday of each month from 10am-12pm at Telscombe Civic Centre, 360 South Coast Road, BN10 7ES
• Farnborough: First Thursday of each month from 10:30am-12pm at Southern Co-op Funeralcare, 68 Victoria Road, GU14 7PH
• Isle of Wight: Second Thursday of each month from 10:30am -12pm at Southern Co-op Funeralcare, No.1 Fairway, Lake, PO36 9EE
• Hassocks: Last Thursday of each month from 10am-12pm at Clayton Wood Natural Burial Ground, in Brighton Road, BN6 9PD
• Bognor Regis: Fourth Friday of each month from 10am-11:30am at Laburnham Centre, in Lyon Street, PO21 1UX

To find out more, click here or call 07834 449069.